TITLE: Tears

AUTHOR: Lady Ra

E-MAIL ADDRESS: LadyRa11@yahoo.com

RATING: NC-17

PAIRING: Gibbs/DiNozzo

SUMMARY: Someone wants Gibbs to suffer

EPISODE SPOILERS: Anything through SWAK is game, and this goes AU after SWAK, which means Twilight doesn't happen.

NOTE: For the purposes of this story, I need us all to believe that there is an NCIS infirmary, okay? Plus, for at least part of his time as a Marine, I've made Gibbs a drill instructor.

DISCLAIMER: NCIS is owned and operated by people far richer than I. Honor and praise to the creators. I love playing with these guys.

DISTRIBUTION: My home site: www.visionsofprettyboys.com, and the NCIS archive, and probably NCIS slash, and who knows where else

FEEDBACK: Absolutely. In fact I insist on it. No, I'm begging you for it. Damn, where are those drugs?

THANKS: Thanks to my vunderbar alphas and betas. My stories are always so much better for their hard work. For this story that includes: Joolz, Jenn, Prentice, Susan, Audra Rose and Nix. A veritable cast of thousands.

TEARS

Part 1

--Where our heroes are placed

in considerable danger--

Gibbs sat down at his desk after sharing his usual morning glare with his team and took a swig of coffee. He watched covertly as Tony mouthed the words, "What's with him?" to Kate. Kate shrugged. Gibbs hid a grin, glad to see he hadn't lost his touch.

He shuffled through his mail, stopping at a plain white envelope with no return address. It was too soon after Tony's almost deadly bout of plague to take any unusual mail lightly. Gibbs held the envelope up to the light.

"There a problem, boss?" Tony asked.

"Probably not," Gibbs said, squinting at the envelope. It looked like a single sheet of paper with some typed words on it.

"Maybe you should have Abby open it under the hood," Tony suggested, a hint of anxiety in his voice.

Gibbs couldn't fault him his concern. And it was probably a good idea. Most likely not necessary, but the memory of Tony lying almost dead in that isolation unit, struggling to breathe, was all too clear. Gibbs stood, envelope in hand.

Tony, Kate and McGee all stood as well.

"Going somewhere?" he glared at them.

"Yeah," Kate said. "To see what's in that letter." She said it like she thought maybe he'd asked a trick question.

"Are you telling me you don't have anything better to do than stroll down to Abby's lab and watch her open a letter?" Now that was a trick question.

Gibbs watched Kate struggle with her response, knowing she knew she'd be screwed if she said no, but still wanting to go with him. No doubt her own memories of Tony dying were just as horrific, maybe more, as she'd stayed in the isolation chamber with him in an astonishing act of friendship that belied all her and Tony's sniping.

"I'm going," Tony said stubbornly.

Gibbs liked the way Tony sometimes challenged him, even if it did mean Gibbs had to slap him down now and then. Tony would end up leading a team of his own one day; he needed to be able to challenge anyone and anything.

Deciding to be merciful, Gibbs rolled his eyes and said, "Come on." They wouldn't do any work until he was back, anyway, so he might as well let them come with him.

*****

"Drum roll, please," Abby crowed as she slit the envelope open.

Tony rapped a tattoo on the counter ending with a flourish of syncopated beats.

"Nice," Abby said approvingly.

"Could we get on with it?" Gibbs said impatiently.

Abby sent him one of her you-are-so-grumpy looks, but she complied and clumsily, due to the thick isolation gloves, pulled out a single sheet of tri-folded paper. Looking over her shoulder, Gibbs read it. It was typed and began with a quote:

"Heaven knows we need never be ashamed of our tears, for they are rain upon the blinding dust of earth, overlying our hard hearts."

Charles Dickens wrote that, Gunnery Sergeant Gibbs. Do you believe it? I don't. Men should never cry.

Do you ever cry?

It wasn't signed.

"Cryptic much?" Abby commented with a lopsided frown.

Tony was looking over Gibbs' shoulder. "That make sense to you, boss?"

"No," Gibbs said, annoyed. He disliked things that didn't make sense, especially those things that he didn't know if he needed to take seriously or not. It was obviously some nut job with too much time on his hands, but that didn't necessarily mean it was a dangerous nut job.

"So you don't know who sent it?" Kate asked, looking over Tony's shoulder.

Gibbs was starting to feel claustrophobic and it would only be a matter of time before McGee was staring over Kate's shoulder. He eased out from between Abby and Tony and took a few steps to the side. "No," he said again.

His answer didn't satisfy his team. "Anything on the letter, Abs?" Tony asked.

"It looks clean, but I'll run it through some tests," she answered, her eyes lit with enthusiasm for the battery of tests she'd no doubt inflict on the poor, hapless piece of paper.

"It's probably nothing," Gibbs said, but he didn't tell her not to bother.

"Does that quote have any significance to you?" Kate asked.

"No," Gibbs said.

"You really have to stop all the chatter, boss," Tony teased in a serious tone. "Next thing we know, you'll be babbling like a teenage girl." At a glare from Gibbs, he qualified, "Boy. Teenage boy."

Gibbs glared at him again, eyes narrowed.

"Big man on campus," Tony qualified again.

With an eye roll, Gibbs headed for the door. He needed coffee.

*****

"It's too clean," Abby said two hours later, after summoning Gibbs.

"Meaning?" Gibbs demanded, already knowing he wasn't going to get any answers.

"There's nothing to trace. No fingerprints. No return address. The postmark is from the largest post office in Washington, D.C. Whoever sent it used plain Xerox paper and plain white envelopes you can buy at any office supply store. The font type, Courier, is available on every computer. There's nothing special about the ink. It's a big nada."

"I don't like it," Tony said with a scowl.

"All it means is that whoever sent it used gloves," Gibbs argued. "It doesn't mean I'm in any danger."

"If I got that letter, would you blow it off?" Abby asked.

Gibbs hated questions like that. "No," he answered honestly. But Gibbs knew he could take care of himself. Not that Abby couldn't take care of herself, but she was still more vulnerable than he was. "Besides, it doesn't matter. Nothing to trace, nothing to do." Subject was closed.

Tony, still scowling, opened his mouth to speak.

Gibbs shot him a look.

Tony shut his mouth, although if his expression was any indication, Gibbs had only bought himself a few minutes. He glanced at his team, who had, once again, followed him down here like ducklings trailing after their mother. "You all have one minute to get back to your desks and get busy, or I'll start making assignments. And I promise you won't like them."

An alarmed look passed between Kate, McGee and Tony before they fled.

Abby snickered, and Gibbs grinned at her.

*****

The next day, another envelope arrived. Gibbs wasn't sure if he was glad about the light case load or not. If they'd been busy, he wouldn't have time to open his own mail. On the other hand, if this was going to turn into a problem, it was better that they weren't busy.

Thinking he'd just open this one, he heard a discreet cough and glanced up to see a disapproving look on McGee's face. Checking out Kate and Tony, he saw the same expressions. Sighing heavily, Gibbs got up and headed for Abby's lab.

*****

This one started with another quote:

"More grievous than tears is the sight of them."

I agree with Antonio Porchia, Gunnery Sergeant Gibbs. No man should ever be seen crying.

What would it take to make you cry?

"Who's Antonio Porchia?" Tony asked.

Gibbs stared at him.

"On it," Tony said, moving to a computer.

"I'll run tests again, but I'd bet my new studded dog collar that it's clean," Abby declared.

"He's a writer," Tony announced. "Or he was. He's dead. Died in 1968. Born in Italy, moved to Argentina in 1911 and lived there until he died. This quote's from a book called Voices."

"That doesn't help," Gibbs said sourly.

"Yeah, I didn't think it would," Tony said, leaning back in the chair, looking frustrated.

"Is there a link between Charles Dickens and Antonio Porchia?" McGee asked.

This is why Gibbs hated crap like this. Stupid questions that came attached to stupid answers, leaving them with absolutely no direction from which to start an investigation.

Kate's brow was furrowed.

"What?" Gibbs asked her. Maybe she was seeing something he wasn't.

"He wants to make you cry," she said. "Maybe not literally, but he wants to hurt you." She glanced at him. "Who'd want to hurt you?"

Gibbs snorted. If he started writing out a list now, he'd grow old before it was done.

"Okay, I withdraw the question," Kate said quickly. "But the reference to tears has to be significant. It's appeared both times."

Then again, maybe she saw squat, just like he did. "Back to work," he ordered. If he got lucky, maybe they'd get called in on a triple homicide. If not, Gibbs had a sinking feeling he'd be under close surveillance by his team all afternoon.

"Wait," Kate said, stopping the exodus. "He keeps referring to you as Gunnery Sergeant Gibbs, not Special Agent Gibbs."

"Yeah?" Gibbs snapped. "So?"

"So that probably means this is from someone you knew when you were still on active duty," Kate explained.

"You think that narrows the field?" Gibbs asked sharply. "I put a thousand Marines through their paces when I was a drill instructor."

"Did you make any of them cry?" Tony asked.

"All of them," Gibbs answered.

*****

The third envelope appeared on the third day. Before he could even consider just opening the damn thing, Tony was at his desk with a don't-fuck-with-me look on his face. Tony didn't get that look too often, but when it appeared, Gibbs respected it.

It didn't mean he had to like it, though. He glowered his way to Abby's lab and handed the letter over.

"The guy's persistent," Abby said appreciatively. "You gotta give him points for that." Less than a minute later, she had it open. "And he definitely has a jones for crying quotes." She turned the letter so Gibbs could read it.

"The sorrow which has no vent in tears may make other organs weep people die."

I hope Henry Maudsley will forgive me changing his quote, but it's more accurate this way.

I want you to know, Gunnery Sergeant Gibbs, that I hold you entirely responsible and you must pay the price. Deuteronomy 19:21 demands an eye for an eye. My path is clear.

What will it take to break you?

You seem to be a man with few friends. But you do have people in your life you feel responsible for.

I wonder which one, if they were lost to you, would make you cry.

Shall we find out?

Fingers of dread walked down Gibbs' spine. His eyes met Tony's, who was looking decidedly apprehensive. Then his gaze connected with Abby, who appeared distinctly put out.

"You do so have friends," she stated firmly. "I'm your friend."

Gibbs smiled at her. Of all of them, he probably could count Abby as a friend. And Ducky. Not that he spent much time with them outside of work other than an occasional dinner with Ducky or a few lunches with Abby. Tony--Tony was complicated. Tony was someone Gibbs could be friends with, could possibly be more with, which was why Gibbs kept his distance.

"Is he talking about us?" McGee asked.

"Probably," Gibbs said.

"This feels real, boss," Tony said. "I think whoever this is, is serious."

"I do, too," Kate agreed.

Gibbs nodded his agreement. His team, his people, were possibly in danger. It made him want to punch something or someone. Preferably the scumbag who was sending these letters.

"You made all the Marines cry?" Kate probed, as if she'd been stuck on the idea all this time.

"My job," Gibbs said clearly, "was to find out what they were made of. They had to hit their limit and get past it."

"Did any of them get mad at you?" McGee inquired cautiously.

Gibbs flashed a tight grin McGee's way. "All of them."

"So, long suspect list, then," Tony said.

"Very long," Gibbs assured him.

They all turned to stare at the letter. Thousands of suspects and not even clue one.

"Anyone you drummed out?" McGee asked.

"A few," Gibbs said. "But why now? It's been years. What's making someone come out of the woodwork now?"

"Maybe we could ask around?" Tony suggested. "Hit a few of the bars the Marines frequent; see if anyone's been badmouthing you."

Kate nodded. "I know it's a long shot, but I could go to the post office we know these letters are coming from and see if they've seen anything."

"And I could get a list of all the Marines you worked with, and start whittling it down," McGee offered.

Gibbs nodded. "Go together," he told Kate and Tony. "I don't want anyone alone. Keep an eye out." He eyed McGee and Abby and added, "That goes for you two, as well."

He got four nods in return. They were a good team, the best he'd ever worked with. If anything happened to any of them, he'd find this scumbag and rip his or her still beating heart out of their chest.

*****

Gibbs could hear his team arguing as they headed back to their desks to retrieve their weapons. He followed them slowly, keeping just out of sight, but close enough to listen.

"I think you should go change, Kate," Tony said in his this-is-going-to-be-fun voice.

"Change into what?" Kate asked dangerously.

"Something sexy," Tony answered. "Something low cut with lots of cleavage, and something that really hugs your--"

"If you say something about my butt," Kate snarled, "the only thing that will be changing around here is your voice."

"No, I mean it," Tony wheedled. "While you're distracting everyone with your fatal charms, no one will even notice they're answering my questions."

"Tony, just stop," Kate warned.

"Um," McGee started, "I think that was actually a compliment."

Kate paused, probably rerunning the conversation in her mind. When she spoke, her tone was lighter. "Thanks, Tony. You're still a pig, but thanks."

"You're welcome," Tony said. "I think."

"So who gets to tell Gibbs that he shouldn't be going anywhere alone, either?" Kate asked, changing the subject.

"Let's wait until you change, and then we can tell him," Tony suggested. "It'll go down easier that way."

"First of all, I'm not changing," Kate began.

"Tell me what?" Gibbs interrupted. He was glad to see he'd managed to sneak up on them all. Watching them jump never got old.

"Nothing," McGee squeaked out, sitting down at his desk, his fingers racing over the keyboard as if all the answers to life were there.

Gibbs' back was to Tony and Kate as he walked to his own desk, but he could imagine the silent battle between them as to who would do the honors. His money was on Tony. The younger man was more of a lion tamer than Kate would ever be.

"It's like this, boss," Tony said. Gibbs hid a grin.

He looked up impatiently. "Yeah?"

"The way we see it, this guy, while he's threatening us, is really after you. And whatever he tries, he's gonna do it near you so you can see it going down, and he can see your reaction."

"And?"

Looking exasperated, Tony said, "So, this buddy thing goes for you, too."

"There's a flaw in your logic, DiNozzo," Gibbs snapped.

"How's that?"

"If he wants me to see something happen to one of you, then having one of you with me at all times makes it all a little too easy for him, don't you think?"

Tony winced and shot Kate a look. She sent one of her fierce do-something looks right back.

"We just don't think you should be alone," Tony said stubbornly.

Gibbs appreciated the sentiment, but he'd be damned if he'd let some nut job define his level of freedom. "Duly noted."

Tony frowned at him. It gave Gibbs some satisfaction that Tony knew him well enough to know Gibbs was blowing smoke up his ass. Then, deciding to thoroughly seize control of the reins again, Gibbs frowned back. "Is there a reason you two are still here?"

Kate shot out of her chair. "On our way."

Tony was moving, too, but he threw one last warning frown Gibbs' way. Gibbs was pretty sure if Kate and McGee hadn't been right there, Tony would have had a few choice words to share. Absurdly warmed by his concern, Gibbs forced his attention back to the files on his desk.

*****

The next morning there was no letter. Gibbs wasn't sure how to feel about that. Tony and Kate came around the corner. "I'm telling you," Tony was whining, "if you'd worn something sexier, we might have gotten something."

"And I'm warning you--"

"Find out anything?" Gibbs said, forestalling any further bickering. If any two people who weren't siblings personified a sibling relationship, it would be these two. Not that Gibbs had any intention of being their honorary father. He'd pass that role onto Ducky.

"Nada," Tony said with an air of defeat.

"That's not exactly true," Kate said honestly.

Tony shot her an are-you-crazy look.

She shrugged.

Tony sighed. "Fine. We found out there're a lot of people who don't like you, boss, but it was just good old-fashioned pissiness," he explained. "'That Gibbs is a son of a bitch, Gibbs didn't show up the day they were handing out emotions, Gibbs would sell his grandmother if the price was--'"

"Tony," Kate hissed at him.

Stopping the negative comments mid-stream, Tony finished with: "That sort of stuff. We did find a few people who do like you, though."

Gibbs was more surprised by that. "You did?" He worked hard on his bastard image.

"I like you, boss," Tony said with one of his irrepressible grins.

Much to his dismay, Gibbs couldn't suppress a short half-laugh. "McGee?"

McGee looked out from behind his computer screen. "Yeah, boss."

"Find anything?"

"Not enough," McGee said unhappily. "I've eliminated all the Marines who have died, moved away from the area, or are on active duty away from D.C., and that still leaves close to a thousand possible suspects."

Gibbs' phone rang and he flipped it open. "Gibbs." He listened to the man on the other end of the line. "We'll be there in twenty." He stood. "Tony, gas the truck and bring it around. Kate, get Ducky. We got a dead body."

*****

It took them less than a day to close the case. People who commited crimes of passion usually left plenty of clues behind and this was no exception. They'd left fingerprints, the murder weapon, and the victim's cell phone. By early afternoon the team had their suspect in the interrogation room. It took Gibbs eleven minutes to get a confession.

A job well done, Gibbs thought in satisfaction as he returned to his desk. The glow of victory was short lived; another plain white envelope awaited him. "Damn it." He'd hoped it was over. Hoped the sender had boxed himself into a corner by making threats that he had no intention of carrying out.

He glanced up casually, mentally crossing his fingers no one else had noticed, but Tony's eagle eyes were watching him. Damn the man and his 20/10 vision. Without saying a word, Gibbs got up and headed to Abby's lab, Tony right behind him.

*****

It started with yet another crying quote:

"Let your tears come.  Let them water your soul." 

By Eileen Mayhew

Gunnery Sergeant Gibbs, I've been making a list.

Anthony DiNozzo

Donald Mallard

Timothy McGee

James Palmer

Abigail Sciuto

Caitlin Todd

Right now they're in alphabetical order. I'll be spending the rest of the day determining their proper order. And by order, I mean in terms of the likely probability of breaking you. I realize it's a flawed experiment, because if it takes three or four of them, I won't know if it's that particular one I've just gone after, or if it's the cumulative effect.

So do I start with the most important one first? The least important? Will the type of death matter?

You see? I have many things to consider.

Sweet Dreams, Gunnery Sergeant Gibbs.

"God damn it," Gibbs swore. When he'd seen Tony's name at the top of the list, his blood had run cold. The relief he'd felt when told they were in alphabetical order made him feel just as badly. He didn't want any of them to die, especially not on his behalf.

Knowing someone was out there, deciding which of his team to kill first, made Gibbs crazy. And whoever this person was, they'd been watching long enough to get the right names on the list. With the exception of Palmer. Not that Gibbs wished him any harm, but he hadn't worked here long enough for Gibbs to consider him part of the team.

If the nut job went for least important first, Palmer was at risk. If he went for most important first--Gibbs found himself glancing at Tony, only to find Tony's eyes on him once again. Gibbs didn't like to admit he had favorites, but Tony and Abby would be at the top of the list, Ducky a close third.

"How are we handling this?" Kate asked.

"I'm open to suggestions," Gibbs admitted. Keeping them all under lock and key would be his choice, but he doubted any of his team would agree.

"Get Ducky and Jimmy," Abby suggested. "They need to be in on this."

Gibbs nodded.

"I'll get them," McGee offered.

Abby methodically began testing the paper again, although Gibbs knew she wouldn't find anything. This nut job wanted to get his hands dirty and he wanted recognition; something as passiv