TITLE: When Realities Collide

AUTHOR: Lady Ra

E-MAIL ADDRESS: LadyRa11@yahoo.com

RATING: PG

PAIRING: RPGen, McKay/Sheppard

SUMMARY: There are odd goings on at Vancouver General Hospital

EPISODE SPOILERS: None

NOTES: This was going to be for the flashfic phone call challenge, but then I decided it was a little too out there.

DISCLAIMER: It all belongs to whoever the heck owns Stargate/Atlantis. And that's not me. Wah!!!

DISTRIBUTION: Wraithbait, Area 52 and my home site: www.visionsofprettyboys.com. Come visit me at my LJ, under Ladyra.

FEEDBACK: Absolutely. In fact I insist on it. No, I'm begging you for it. Damn, where are those drugs?

THANKS: Thanks to my vunderbar betas Joolz and Morr. Also mucho thanks to Azure_chaos who wrote a similar story in NCIS, and whose idea I shamelessly, with permission, snitched.

When Realities Collide

Joe Flanigan let out a soft curse as he fumbled for the phone in the dead of night. "Whozzit?" he grumbled into it. He could hear Katherine's easy breathing next to him; the phone hadn't woken her up which was a small miracle Joe could only be grateful for. Since the arrival of their third child only days ago, sleep had been an elusive prize.

"Joe?" a familiar voice asked.

"Paul?" Joe asked back, waking up further. "What is it? Why are you calling at--" Joe looked over Katherine's sleeping body at the alarm clock. "Shit, it's two in the morning."

"I know. I've been calling everyone. David's been in an accident."

"Which David?" Joe rubbed his eyes.

"David Hewlett."

"Fuck," Joe said. "There goes our shooting schedule tomorrow."

"Nice, Joe," Paul said condescendingly. "I'll be sure to pass on your heartfelt regards to David when he's conscious again."

"No, no," Joe protested. "I didn't mean it like that. I mean I did, because me and David are supposed to be shooting a dozen scenes tomorrow and now everything will get pushed back, and Katherine's been taking care of all three kids by herself, and I promised her we'd be done by Saturday." He sighed. "Forget all that. How bad is he hurt? What kind of accident?"

"We don't know. Someone found him on the ground and called an ambulance. He's unconscious."

"Was he mugged?" Joe asked. "Where was he?"

"Weirdly enough, but thank God for it, there's not a mark on him. They found him in Battle Ground Park."

"Joe?" Katherine said from the other side of the bed. "What's the matter? Is the baby crying?"

"No, babe," Joe said. "It's Paul McGillion. David Hewlett's been in an accident." Back to Paul, Joe asked, "Did you call Jane? And Kate?"

"Kate's on her way, I haven't gotten a hold of Jane yet. Torri and Martin are already here."

"Where are you?"

"Vancouver General."

Joe sighed again. He turned to Katherine, his eyebrows up. "Go," she said shortly. "I'll be okay."

"You sure?"

She nodded. "Before long he'll be eighteen and I can kick him out of the house."

Joe grinned at her. "Thanks, babe." To Paul, he said, "I'll be there soon." He hung up, kissed the love of his life, and got up to get dressed.

*****

Paul sat at David's bedside, watching his friend for any sign of consciousness. "Why isn't he waking up?" he asked Kate, his voice tight with worry.

She was on the other side of David's bed, holding her brother's hand tightly. "I don't know." Kate hated feeling so completely helpless. But if she found out who hurt her brother, she was going to break his leg. To start with.

There was a change in David's breathing just then, and his eyebrows lifted and fell.

Kate stood, leaning over him, massaging his fingers. "David?"

"Hmm?" he said in answer.

"Open up your eyes," she encouraged him. "Please."

As she and Paul watched anxiously, he finally managed to get them open. His eyes moved to his hand which was being held, and his gaze drifted up to Kate. He smiled at her, but then it shifted into a confused frown. "Jeannie? What are you doing here?"

Kate blinked at him, surprised into silence.

David's head turned to his right. "Carson?" He looked around. "Where are we? What happened? Where's John?"

Kate and Paul eyed each other nervously. "David?" Paul said guardedly. "Do you know who you are?"

"Yeah, I do," the man said pointedly, "although it's pretty clear you two are confused. And while it's not that surprising in Carson given all the sheep dip he sniffed as a youngster, you," he said with a disapproving frown to Kate, "have no excuse, because you've got McKay genes." He scowled. "Maybe it's all that tofu you eat." He looked around again. "Where's John? We were together. And where are we? This isn't the Atlantis infirmary."

"Um," Paul said. Then he grinned, "Good one, David. You really had me going there for a minute." He let out a laugh.

Kate laughed, too. If her laugh had a tinge of hysteria, she thought it was forgivable. She was going to strangle her brother if this was all a joke.

The man in the bed did not laugh. "Are you both on drugs?" he snapped. "Where are we?"

"Vancouver," Kate said.

"Vancouver, Canada?"

She nodded.

"Why?" He looked down at himself, picking at the hospital gown in distaste. "Where are my clothes? Where's my equipment? Elizabeth's going to kill me if I lose another life sign detector."

"I'm getting the doctor," Paul said, standing, all signs of laughter gone from his face.

"Are you kidding me?" the man barked. "Did someone finally have the good sense to take your degree away? And why are you talking that way? Is it pretend-to-be-Canadian day?"

"David," Kate said. "Do you really think you're Rodney McKay?"

"Then," Paul continued, "I'm going to get some coffee. I think it's going to be a long night."

"I know I'm Rodney McKay," he bit out. "And you're my sister, Jeannie, and he's Atlantis' voodoo practitioner," he added, gesturing at Paul's back as he walked out the door.

There was a noise at the door and Kate looked up to see Torri and Joe. "Hey," she said gratefully. "David's a little confused."

"Thank God," her brother said enthusiastically to Joe. "There you are. Thank you so much for abandoning me to the world's worst practical joke. Can we go now?" Then he frowned. "Elizabeth? When did you get here?"

Both Joe and Torri's eyes were open wide. "Is this a joke?" Joe asked.

"If it is," David fumed, "it's getting less funny by the second." He whipped off his blanket and began to get off the bed. "Let's go. Find me my clothes." As Joe walked fully into the room, David gave him a head-to-toe scrutiny. "Where did you get that outfit? The Salvation Army?"

Joe looked defensively down at his old jeans, ratty t-shirt, and flip flops. "Hey, it's better than the hospital gown you're wearing. Nice ass, by the way."

David grabbed the back of his gown in a panic and sat back down.

"Joe," Torri scolded.

The doctor came in. "I understand there's some confusion," he said, looking at David.

"Yeah," David snarled. "All of them need to be tested for drugs or alien infestation. Or maybe they're clones." He glared at Joe. "Would you get over here?"

"For what?" Joe asked, looking like he was perfectly fine standing where he was, several feet away from the bed.

"For moral support. I'd like to know that at least my husband is on my side."

Joe's mouth dropped. "What?" he choked out.

Torri said, "What?" as well, and Kate followed that with an "Excuse me?"

David held up his hand displaying a gold ring around his left ring finger. Then he frowned at Joe, who wasn't wearing one. "Where's yours?"

"I left my girlfriend and our three children at home to come here to see you," Joe said. "I don't know what the hell you're talking about."

The doctor got out his penlight and shone it in Rodney's eyes. "Can you tell me your name?"

"Rodney McKay. Dr. Rodney McKay," he corrected, his voice a little shaky. "At least I was a little while ago."

"He's David Hewlett," Joe said. "He plays Rodney on our television show Stargate Atlantis. He isn't a doctor, and he sure as hell isn't married to me." Joe shuddered.

Kate didn't miss the flash of hurt that crossed David's eyes. "David," she interjected, "you have a girlfriend, too. Her name is Jane."

The hurt switched to anger. "I don't know what game you're all playing," her brother said, "but I've had enough." He pushed the doctor away from the bed, and stood. "And you," he said scathingly to Joe, "are sleeping on the couch for the next ten years. Where's Carson? Carson?" he yelled.

Both the doctor and Kate took an arm and maneuvered him back to bed. "I'm afraid you can't go quite yet," the doctor said. "Do you know what year it is?"

"2006," he snapped before glowering at Torri. "Are you doing a Michael on me? Did you feel the need for a new subject to experiment on?" His eyes opened wide. "That's it, isn't it? You're experimenting on me. Or this is all one of those replicant probe dreams. This isn't real at all."

"Do you know who the Prime Minister is?" the doctor continued doggedly.

David rolled his eyes. "Please." He sat back in bed and crossed his arms over his chest. "I'm not saying another thing." He lifted his chin up and glared at all of them.

They all looked at each other in dismay. "Was he hit on the head?" Kate asked.

The doctor shook his head. "He was unconscious when he was brought in, but he has no evidence of a head trauma. In fact, there was no evidence of any kind of trauma."

The chin lifted higher. "Plenty of trauma happening right now," he offered in a malicious sing-song voice. His gaze moved to Joe, only to shift away again, that flash of pain reappearing. He was absently twisting his ring.

Kate had never seen the ring before. In fact, everything about her brother was a little off.

The doctor pursed his lips. "I'll need to order some tests. We'll need a CAT scan, and an EEG, plus some drug toxicology screens."

"David does not do drugs," Kate said, annoyed.

"Someone might have slipped him something," Torri suggested.

The doctor scribbled another note, tucked the chart under his arm and left, his lab coat flying. Kate sat back on the bed next to her brother. Torri and Joe stood on the other side.

David shot them all nervous looks. Finally, to Kate, he said sadly, "You're not my sister?"

"I am your sister," she reassured him, lacing her fingers through his. "But my name's Kate Hewlett. I played your sister Jeannie on your TV show."

"And I'm Joe Flanigan," Joe said. "The star of your television show," he added with a small smug grin.

Torri gave him a look. "And I'm Torri Higginson. We're all actors."

"And you're not--?" he stopped, staring at Joe, his expression confused and betrayed.

"Hell, no," Joe said emphatically.

David touched his ring. "But why do I have a ring? It all seems so real." He shook his head, his lips tight. "No, it is real. I know it's real. I'm Rodney McKay, and I'm supposed to be in the Pegasus Galaxy. John and I were on the mainland with Ronan and Teyla, exploring a cave Jinto found that had some Ancient technology in it."

He snapped his fingers while hitting one fist against the other. "That's it. John picked up this thing and when we both touched it, a bright light shot out of it. It must have done something. Sent me to another reality somehow. Or it zapped me and this is just a dream and I'll wake up soon, and John will be telling me I fainted, which, by the way, is a vicious lie."

Torri patted David's hand. "I better go tell the others what's going on," she said. "Don't worry. You'll get better."

"I don't need to get better," he said witheringly. "I just need to get home."

She smiled at him, patted his hand one more time, and left the room.

Joe grinned. "She's as bad at this in real life as she is in the show," he said, amused.

David sighed. Then, looking at Kate, he asked, "Can I talk to him for a second." His chin pointed toward Joe, designating who the him was.

"Sure, I guess," she said, looking at Joe. "You okay?"

Joe nodded, looking anything but okay. "Yeah, we'll be fine."

Dubious, Kate got up, reluctantly letting go of her brother's hand. She didn't want to leave. But, with another look at the two of them, she left the room, shutting the door behind her.

*****

A few minutes passed in silence. Rodney rolled his eyes as this John-but-not-John tried to look at his watch without making it too obvious. "Convenient," not-John said out of the blue, sitting down, slouching.

"What is?" Rodney asked.

"This psychosis of yours. We could probably still shoot the show, seeing as you think you're Rodney McKay and all."

Rodney stared at him for a long moment. "You're really not him, are you?"

"Not even a little bit," not-John assured him.

"And we're not--?" Rodney let the question trail off, feeling sick to his stomach. This could not be happening. He couldn't have imagined the whole thing.

"Definitely not."

Not-Carson opened the door and walked in, handing not-John a case. He smiled sadly at Rodney, then left.

"See?" not-John said, holding up the case. "Here's our DVD. See? That's you. David Hewlett. You play Rodney McKay."

Rodney took the case and stared at it, flipping it around so he could read the back. "I don't understand." He looked up at not-John desperately. "I don't understand. Why is this happening? Why aren't you you? Just a couple of hours ago you loved me."

Not-John grimaced. "That's gotta stop now. Really."

Rodney let the case fall to the bed, and he covered his face with his hands.

"I'm gonna go get Kate," not-John said, standing.

Rodney just shrugged. Right now, he couldn't get past the thought of a John, even a not-John, not loving him. In a while he'd rally and figure out what the hell was going on, and he'd find his John if it was the last thing he ever did.

There was a commotion in the hallway and a voice yelled out, "I want to see him."

"Hey, I recognize that voice," not-John said, in a bewildered tone.

Rodney's hands dropped from his face, and his heart actually skipped a beat. He wouldn't be surprised if he had a heart attack. And wouldn't that figure. "John?" he hollered. "Is that you?"

"Rodney?" The door slammed open and there he was. His John. Familiarly dressed in black from head to toe, complete with wrist bands. And best of all, he had a gold ring on his left ring finger.

"I don't understand," not-John whined. "What's going on?"

"Thank God," Rodney blurted out, ignoring not-John. "I thought I was going crazy."

"Who's this?" John demanded, pointing at not-John. "I mean, I can see he's me, but why is he here?"

"He's no one," Rodney said. "Really."

"Hey," not-John protested. "I'm Joe Flanigan. Who the hell are you?"

"I'm guessing we're in an alternate reality," Rodney said to John, delegating not-John--er, Joe's chatter to nonessential background noise. "Where the hell have you been?" Rodney grumped. "They've been telling me you don't exist."

"I know," John said, looking in the closet, pulling out a plastic bag with what looked like Rodney's uniform. "They told me you're some guy named David."

Rodney pawed through his clothes. "None of my equipment is here," he complained.

"Whatever that thing was," John said, shaking out Rodney's shirt and holding it out to him, "didn't let us through with any of our equipment. It even took my guns," he added morosely.

"How terrible for you," Rodney mocked. "What took you so long to get here?"

"I woke up in some park. Carter Park, I think."

"Carter Park?" Rodney asked, zipping up his pants. "That's a nice park."

"Am I dreaming?" Joe asked.

"Yes," Rodney snapped at him. "Now shut up."

"Be nice, Rodney," John drawled. To Joe, he said, "My advice? Just forget this ever happened. It'll be easier that way."

Rodney started putting on his socks. "How did you find me, then?"

"I got lucky," John said. "I saw Carson in the coffee shop next door." He frowned. "He's not Scottish here. Isn't that weird?"

"Everything's weird. This reality sucks," Rodney said vehemently. "And right now I have no idea how to get us home. This place is practically the Dark Ages."

"Hey," Joe complained. "It is not."

"Right," Rodney said sarcastically, picking up and tossing the DVD case to Joe. "You've all been wasting your time making television shows about wormholes, instead of actually figuring out how they work."

"Will this help?" John asked smugly, holding out the gadget that had caused all the trouble in the first place.

Fully dressed now, Rodney lunged toward John. "How did you manage to hang onto that?"

"You touched it, but I was holding it," John answered, staring at it.

"You are the best husband ever," Rodney said. He hugged John really hard. "They told me we weren't married," he said softly.

"Well, we are," John said equally softly, kissing Rodney.

*****

Joe watched them with a scowl, hoping to hell this was all a dream. On the other hand, it was kind of a cool plot. Maybe he could figure out a way to write an episode about something like this. He rubbed his eyes, exhausted. It was a good thing he had to look like shit tomorrow for most of his scenes. He wouldn't even need to act. Probably wouldn't even need make up.

As the two men in front of him kept kissing, Joe decided it was definitely time to go. He just didn't have the energy for this. He walked to the door and opened it. "Kate?" he called. The hallway was empty. Where the hell had everyone gone? Had no one seen his double walking down the hallway? Someone must have, because John had been yelling at someone. And where the hell was Paul? According to John, Paul had spoken to him.

Hmm. Maybe this was all a practical joke. On him. If it was, he was going to kill Paul.

Kate suddenly appeared in the hallway. Joe frantically signaled her closer. At his request she peeked around the doorjamb, and her eyes practically bugged out.

She stared at Joe, then back at the other Joe. "Who's that?" she squeaked.

"Apparently someone who looks just like me and who took the same drugs David, or, er, maybe not David, did. Whatever," Joe snapped, tired of the whole night and desperately wanting to be back in bed with Katherine for the few short hours that remained before his alarm would go off. He was going to take the advice of his double and pretend this never happened. "I'm going home."

"What?" Kate squeaked again. "What?"

*****

The two men pulled apart and smiled at each other. Then John saw Kate. "Hey, Jeannie, nice to see you." He frowned.

"She says she's not Jeannie," Rodney bitched. "They all say they're not who they are. Seriously? They're all nuts. I just want to go home. They can all play TV actors without us."

"I'm Kate," Kate said determinedly. "David's sister. David Hewlett."

"See?" Rodney said. "It's been a nightmare. Let me see the gadget."

John held it out, just as he had what felt like several lifetimes ago. "You sure we should just activate it again?" John asked. "How do we know it's going to take us home?"

"Are you really Rodney McKay?" Kate asked.

Joe snorted.

"And John Sheppard?" she asked.

"Yes, we should just activate it again," Rodney stated.

"Does that mean there's really a Jeannie McKay somewhere?" she asked.

John had to admire her perseverance.

"And whatever it does to us," Rodney continued, "it can't be any worse than being here."

Kate suddenly pushed forward and hugged Rodney. "I'm so glad I'm your sister everywhere. Even if I have a different name." She hugged him again.

Rodney stared at her, frowning. Then, finally, a lopsided grin showed up on his face. "Me, too." He frowned again. "But we have to go."

"Can't you stay and visit for a while?" Kate asked. "I'm sure David would want to meet you. He's a total geek about the show."

"No," Rodney said. "Lovely offer, but no."

Nodding sadly, Kate hugged Rodney again. "I hope your sister takes good care of you."

"His sister rocks," John assured her. "And she's as much of a genius as Rodney is."

Rodney scoffed. "Almost as much of a genius. Almost."

John grinned at his husband, then at Kate. "Better step back."

Kate stepped back right into Joe, landing on one of his feet. Joe winced, but manfully stabilized her with hands on her shoulder.

"It's been fun," John drawled at the two of them. Then he held his hand out again. Rodney touched the gadget and, just like before, a light shot out of it. When the light cut off, the two of them were gone.

*****

Joe stared at the now empty spot in the room. "Tell me you saw that," he said to Kate.

"I saw that," she said nervously.

"Okay," Joe said. "I am way too tired to deal with this shit. Kate, I want you to say after me: Joe, this is a dream. Go home."

"But," Kate started.

"No, you're not listening to me," Joe said firmly. "I'm okay with this stuff when we're at the studio and I'm reading from a script, but out here in the real world, all I can say is the sleep deprivation is doing bad things to my mind. So, again, just tell me: Joe, this is a dream. Go home."

"Joe, this is a dream," Kate said obligingly. "Go home."

"Thank you," Joe said, heartfelt.

The door slammed open again, "Kate?" a very familiar voice called, worried.

Kate looked up to find her brother and Jane. "David?" she said weakly.

"Yeah," he said, giving her a hug. "Jane got a weird message from Paul saying that there'd been an accident and to come to Vancouver General right away. Are you okay?"

"Yes," she said tremulously, her eyes bright with relieved tears. "I'm just glad you're okay."

"Why wouldn't I be okay?" David asked, confused.

Kate looked at Joe, who shrugged wearily. He didn't even know where to begin. That was Kate's problem. "Kate told me to go home, so I'm going," he announced. "Glad to see you. Together. Really. The two of you? That works for me."

David shot him a weird look. "You need to get some sleep, Joe."

"No shit," Joe barked.

Before Joe could actually, finally, get out the door, the doctor returned. "The transporter will be here shortly to take you to the imaging department for your CAT scan," he said to David. Then he frowned. "Why are you dressed?"

"What?" David asked, looking completely bewildered.

Joe snickered. "I'll see you tomorrow, David. Good luck with all of this. And don't call me. I'm not answering my phone for the rest of the night." Without another word, and before something else weird could happen, Joe vamoosed.

*****

"I hated that place," Rodney said, his head on John's chest, one hand caressing up and down John's left arm. "It was totally creepy. Everyone I cared about was there, but it was like they were all possessed. Especially you."

John made a commiserating sound that made his chest vibrate.

Rodney smiled at the sensation. "I'm just glad to be home."

"Aren't you curious about that gadget?" John mumbled. "What do you think it was for?"

"The gadget," Rodney said with smug satisfaction, "is in little eeny-weeny tiny pieces in my lab, having met a tragic and fatal accident with the Ancient version of a sledgehammer."

"Okay," John muttered sleepily. "Good night."

Rodney touched John's ring, shook off the thought of a life without John, and taking solace in the sound of John's steady breathing beneath him, fell asleep.

The End.

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